Epilogue…#1

Epilogue:

..or maybe it’s a lesson learned. Whatever the case, I am going to continue production of content relative to the Tour Divide for several more installments. Most will focus on lessons learned, or thoughts on gear, but this one focuses on self and others.

WARNING: I don’t think of myself as a deep thinker. Most often, my emotions and thoughts are clearly visible and on full display. Not always my most endearing trait. I have come to understand that these displays are how I am viewed, considered, and judged. It’s not something I am proud of, but it is also not something I have been able to change. That would be disingenuous. I have tried for years to temper my responses, as well as my emotions, but like Fat Bastard said “It’s a long road ahead”.

That said, this blog entry is really an honest and open discussion of thoughts and emotions that lurk, maybe close to the surface, maybe not. So with that as a preface to this blog, here we go.

One of the most, if not THE most often asked questions Ray and I get, is “What was your favorite part of the TD?” I’m almost positive that the source of this question has to do with geography, but my answer never does.

For all of the beauty we saw and rode through on the Tour Divide, that is not the most profound, awe inspiring, nor lasting memory of the race. What I found to be my favorite part of the trip was the changes that occurred in my mind. These are long lasting and most likely not subject to fade with time, unless I allow them to. Something I hope I can stop from happening. I like the changes.

I tell anybody whom I converse with about the Tour Divide, that the people I met were my favorite part. While I believe that to be true, I’m beginning to understand that, for me at least, those personal encounters were the catalyst for change within myself.

Anyone that knows me at much more that a superficial level knows that I consider myself pretty liberal. I have some firmly held thoughts on personal freedoms, but also some specific views on country and personal responsibility to others. I have friends who hold strong views on every part of the political and social spectrum, and with some, have had very deep and respectful conversations about the most inflamed political points. I say some, because these discussions do not happen very often, as many folks are simply trying to win an argument, not really trying to learn. It’s an easy trap to fall into and I have done so myself. Not proud of those moments.

Along the GDMBR, I met some of the most caring, thoughtful, and honest folks. What I found, to my surprise (though I shouldn’t have been), was that they came from every point on the racial, social, economic, and yes, political compass. It created in my mind, one of my favorite ideas when discussing current issues; a cognitive dissonance. For anyone like me that has to constantly look things up to know what someone is talking about, Cognitive Dissonance is defined as: the state of having inconsistent thoughts, beliefs, or attitudes, especially as relating to behavioral decisions and attitude change.

Now, I’ll try very hard not to offend anyone still reading along. I accuse others, particularly those I disagree with, of unknowingly exhibiting a cognitive dissonance (I’ll abbreviate it CG from now on, because, you know, typing….), particularly with regard to political and social views. But me? Never. Yeah right!

Now, as I said, it was the people that were my favorite part of the TD. But I also learned of my own blind spots because of them.

My own CG involved believing that some people can be kind and a good person, but not readily believing that folks with certain strong political views could be (despite examples of my friends proving that both could be). If you’re on the “other side”, you are obviously a less than honorable, or perhaps even a bad person. How wrong could I be?!

This was particularly brought to light on two occasions, each having to do with folks we met who were genuinely kind, helpful, caring, gregarious, honest, and true “trail angels”, while simultaneously wearing baseball caps for a particular politician I have tremendous dislike for.

How could these two things be simultaneously happening??!!!

I’ve come to the simplistic conclusion that we are all adorned in wrappers or covers. As the old adage goes, “Don’t judge a book by its cover”. I’m guilty of it all the time. Sadly. We allow ourselves to be what we believe, instead of being who we are. Myself included. To me it’s not identity politics (The idea that people of a particular religion, race, social background, etc., form exclusive political alliances, moving away from traditional broad-based party politics), but rather the politics of identity.

I believe WE have fallen into the trap where our public persona becomes all about our politics (or beliefs, not simply whether we are an Elephant, Donkey, etc.). What we do, who we allow ourselves to agree, or disagree with, who we associate with, what we do, etc., all has to conform to the adornments we wrap ourselves in. Sadly, that is how we are viewed by all.

Until…

Until we are in a situation where those topics are irrelevant. Where you connect with others on a basic human level. It is there that I found myself existing on the TD.

For 31 days, all the walls were left behind. All the wrappings were removed and we, as well as the interactions we had, existed on the most basic human levels.

Perhaps it was because we were broken down to only worrying about the basic levels in Maslow's hierarchy of needs, the initial two being physiological and safety. We didn’t worry about anything else for 31 days.

Strangely, when we were operating at these two levels, the folks we met instantly understood that, and were there to address those needs. Food, water, shelter, safety, etc. They weren’t concerned about our social circles or our politics. Maybe it was because these encounters were brief and fleeting, but whatever the reasons, we were just operating at the most human of levels. It was wonderful and weightless. No pressure to fit in, no need to argue. All we had to do was relax and connect with others.

Now, after being back for two months, it’s harder to do so. The pressures (perceived or real) of society and trying to fit back into a highly politicized world disrupts that peace we found. I see myself slipping back into my wrappings. I don’t like it. It’s easy to get defensive and blame others for doing so. Luckily I have Lola to remind me of how I felt when I spoke of my revelation when I got home, and my desire to be more reflective and peaceful. None of this means that I don’t have my strong beliefs, nor am I willing to throw those away. I simply want to try to see others for who they are underneath, and to cut them some slack.

We live in a different world away from the TD. It’s a physically comfortable world, but it’s a less spiritually (not is a religious sense, but it’s the only word that conveys my thoughts) connected world.

I miss the connections, and will try to adjust my views to seek them here, back in the real world.

Ride on.

Shane