Beginnings and endings…

This is most definitely not the blog I anticipated writing.

BLUF (Bottom Line up Front): I have decided to leave the Divide Ride.

Funny part is, I’m at complete peace with the decision now that I’ve made it

These types of decisions are never easy and this one was no exception

I didn’t leave due to injury, fatigue, weather, or many of the other reasons why one might quit the ride. Lola said I abandoned because I ran out of the energy bars Dr. Phil Born made for us (she may be right 🤣).

Actually, there are a number of reasons why this was the best decision for me, but the biggest one was my mental state. I simply wasn’t enjoying the ride any longer, and it’s difficult to re-do something you’ve already done if you’re not having fun.

There were certainly moments of fun, but they didn’t outweigh the incredible difficulties of riding 10+ hours a day.

One of the other considerations was my pace. While I was riding it considerably faster than ever before, I was most definitely much slower than Luke. This causes problems, though not in the way one might think

I mentioned that I was 2 hours behind Luke at the end of the day yesterday. That’s fine, but having your partner wait in less than ideal weather conditions should not be expected It’s difficult to wait long durations due to a bunch of reasons, possible hypothermia being one of them.

I actually started riding in the morning, but after about 5 miles, the reality of the way I was thinking and feeling hit me. I didn’t have the feeling of quitting the night before at all, with late in the day being the usual time folks abandon. Sure I was tired the previous night, but that’s the Divide. This was a “What the heck am I doing?” moment.

My legs were fine…my demeanor was not.

I stood over my bike in the side of the road for about 5 minutes, watching as Luke disappeared into the Montana distance. I crossed the road and looked back from where we had ridden. I sat and looked another few minutes. No sadness, no regrets, no fears. I was just…done with the Divide.

I texted and inReach messaged Luke to let him know. He responded with kind words. I started riding back to Butte.

I wish Luke an incredible journey, knowing he is fully capable of finishing this ride. Salty Cut is an absolute beast of a rider!! I’ll be tracking and dot watching just like his other friends

So there it is. After three starts, one completion, about 4000 miles, 225,000’ of climbing, more tears than I could ever count, sights I’ll never forget, friendships forged in fire, fears faced, multiple tent nights in grizzly country, horrible weather, beautiful sunsets and rises, and incredible memories, I’m done riding the Tour Divide and Great Mountain Bike Route.

I don’t regret a single second.

I don’t know what the future holds, nor what places my bike will take me, and hopefully Lola and I.

I think writing this blog is healing and cathartic. I may continue to write, even if for no one else but myself and my mental health. I enjoy the words and the feelings they invoke in my soul.

So with that I end this chapter. Thank you for reading and following along. I look forward to long conversations with y’all about life, both on and off the bike.